The Marginalian · Mensch & Gesellschaft

Simone de Beauvoir on Love and Friendship

Simone de Beauvoir, in her early writings, explored the nature of human connection, questioning traditional classifications of love and friendship.

Beauvoir, at nineteen, examined how souls interact, distinguishing between idolization and genuine love. She questioned the preference for one person over others when all beings possess inherent worth.

She found intellectual love insufficient, valuing a love for the "depths" and "soul" of individuals. This led her to champion friendship as a profound mutual confidence and joy in the other's existence.

Drawing on Hegel, Beauvoir proposed an ideal friendship based on "absolute reciprocity and the identity of consciousness," contrasting it with romantic love's tendency towards engulfment.

She admired her childhood friend Zaza for her vivacity and independent spirit, which defied convention and inspired Beauvoir to question societal norms.

Beauvoir realized the depth of her need for Zaza's presence, a revelation that swept away conventional emotional categorizations and brought overwhelming joy.

She found deep friendship to be more resilient than romance, free from the "great hatreds of love" like pride, ruptures, and jealousy.

Zaza's untimely death profoundly impacted Beauvoir, solidifying the importance of their friendship and setting Beauvoir on a path of challenging conventions throughout her life.

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